My Story
In recent weeks and months, I have struggled with a lot of anxiety and worry. I felt like I needed to have everything figured out - a plan for after school, for what subjects I wanted to pick, what I was interested in etc. I also had (and still have) so many projects and activities happening. I was working 3 times a week, doing gymnastics, Air Force Cadets and trying to start a blog.
I was extremely overwhelmed.
Then, on top of all of that, I needed to have oral surgery.
On Thursday afternoon, my Mum picked me up early from school we were driving to the clinic to meet with the surgeon. I was already extremely nervous and this was just a consultation.
When it came time to decide on a date for the actual surgery procedure, we considered what events we had in the near future that would be impacted due to my recovery and what dates were available.
Then we came to a very spontaneous decision:
I was going to have the surgery the next day, in less than 24 hours.
How I Dealt with Anxiety
That same afternoon, my Dad and I had planned to go for a bike ride together at the beach and, after some debate, we decided that we should still go as it would keep my mind off my upcoming surgery.
We rode our bikes along the coastline and bought hot chips for dinner. It was such a fun and relaxing experience and I felt so much better being with someone I loved.
My family is something that is very important to me. I find that whenever I feel overwhelmed and lost, spending time with them is an easy way for me to remember what is important and put my problems into perspective.
I also prayed a surrender novena. This novena is one I had heard about before but never actually prayed and it turned out to be exactly what I needed. I gained so much consolation and comfort and it reminded me that I should be giving everything to the Lord.
So many of my problems were outside of my control: my last minute surgery, school problems etc. But throughout praying this novena I learned to say with faith “Jesus, you take care of it.” and it truly helped me so much.
On top of that, I googled every possible anxiety-comforting scripture passage there was and read Matthew 6:25-34 probably ten times, highlighting basically every line of it. I read quotes from the saints and showered myself in words of comfort, repeating them until they rang true in my head and became prayers instead of quotes.
My topic of prayer for every morning became about surrendering my life to the Lord and giving it all to Him. And, while I am still far from perfect, I have learnt a lot and grown so much from these trials.
Trials Actually do Help You Grow
One of the biggest things I have realised throughout my reflections of these past few months is the true meaning and power of the trials we must face. The way we deal with them and combat them actually changes us as people. We can become so much closer to saints or we can turn so far from the Lord.
Our trials give us the means to get to heaven and while they are uncomfortable or completely painful, they are powerful.
The Lord doesn’t forget what we have been through. He also doesn’t let us go through our struggles without giving us the strength we need to conquer them.
Lessons I’ve Learned
As the hours until my surgery slowly ticked down and we arrived at the day surgery clinic, I was shaking uncontrollably and felt freezing cold.
I waited nervously with my mum who, being so generous and loving, stayed with me until I was asleep (I had a general anaesthetic). I woke up after the operation and felt totally awful but as the days have progressed, I have begun to feel much better and my mouth has healed quickly.
I have also felt extremely grateful for the access to healthcare that I have and even more so for the great learning opportunity this experience has been.
Even though I couldn’t feel it at times throughout the waiting period of my surgery, I know now that the Lord had given me enough strength to get through my trials.
I know that he gave me the grace to conquer my challenges and I hope and pray that I am even half a step to heaven because of it.
As I mentioned before, I have learned a great deal throughout these recent weeks and I thought I would share some of my advice and ideas to help you find peace in trust and surrender:
- Sit with the Lord and tell Him of your troubles
Praying is the most important and the best way to find consolation and strength. The Lord doesn’t leave you. Turn to Him in prayer during these hard times.
- Read and meditate with scripture
As I have already said, scripture was extremely important during my recent trials. Some of my favourite passages (for anxiety and worry) were: Jeremiah 23:20, Isaiah 41:10, Matthew 6:34
- Pray a surrender Novena
I may have taken 11 days to pray this novena (oops!) but I absolutely loved it and would recommend it to anyone and everyone!
- Talk to someone and be with someone you trust
Spend time with people you love and tell them what you’re dealing with. Sharing your problems really does make the burden lighter and doing ordinary activities can give you a sense of normality and purpose.
- Take some time off
I don’t normally give myself much of a break, but throughout my recovery, I’ve learned that sometimes it is important to give yourself space to heal as well as to rest. Take an afternoon off your activities, or a day off school (if you can), and rest in the Lord.
- Learn to love the small moments
It is too easy to take life too seriously in our world today and forget the beauty of the little moments that we have been given each day. Especially if you’re extremely busy, valuing the small moments is a valuable skill to cultivate.
- Give yourself time
Don’t expect everything to be sorted out right away. The Lord plays a long game - a lifelong game because His goal is for us to get to heaven. It takes time to learn to surrender and you don’t have to have everything figured out. Surrender means waiting (patiently) for the Lord to act in your life.
My Final Thoughts
Trust and surrender are the key to finding lasting peace. Peace that isn’t changing with our situation. Peace that is founded in Christ.
Maybe this was a bit of a ramble, but I truly have found so much peace this time of turmoil in my life.
We gain the world when we let go of our own plans and learn how to act in God’s will. The Lord doesn’t let us go off on our own. He wants to walk with us but first we have to offer him our hand to take in his.
“Be not afraid. He is here at hand, he is watching.”
-St Therese of Lisieux