A few days ago, I heard someone say that your siblings are the only people that are with you pretty much your whole life. Your parents leave you halfway through and your kids join you during the other half. I spent some time thinking about this and considering the truth in this statement. Of course, this isn’t how life always goes and things can change in unexpected ways, but after pondering this, I realised how true it really is.
You don’t get to choose your siblings the way you would a friend or a spouse. They are given to you by God, specially picked to be with you, for better or for worse. You will forever be associated with them, even if you don’t talk or know each other very well.
Sometimes the very fact that you don’t get to choose your siblings can be the reason you don’t get along. It might feel like the only thing you have in common is your parents. But, because of this, you must make an effort to love them and get to know them.
My friends have often said things to me like “You have such great siblings, my siblings are so annoying and rude”, or “Your siblings are way better than mine.” but I’ve never really felt comfortable when I’ve heard statements like this. Because I fight with my siblings, we argue and annoy each other all the time. The only difference is that we choose to love and forgive each other every time.
My parents have brought us up in the Catholic faith and I truly believe that that is the reason we are as we are. We have been taught to love and serve, to give generously and to forgive each other seventy-seven times (Matt 18:22). We are by no means perfect, but we know that we are all each other has.
My siblings are my best friends.
Not because they’re better people than anyone else’s brothers and sisters, but because we have made an effort to love each other. We have spent time cultivating friendships and getting to know each other.
We have spent our lives squished together in the backseat of a car and sharing bedrooms and getting hand-me-down clothes.
But we also spend time talking and asking each other questions as simple as “How was your day?”.
Good sibling relationships need to be cultivated the same way any other relationship does, so in this post I wanted to share some simple (or more extravagant) things that you can do with your siblings whether you're already best friends or only beginning this journey.
Be competitive
Get into the challenging spirit with a light-hearted competition. Whether that be a planned baking contest or sports game or a spontaneous race of who can have the fastest shower (tried and true by me 😆), a friendly competition can seriously be a great bonding activity.
Get out of your comfort zone
This can be done in a variety of ways and will greatly depend on what you and your sibling like (or don’t like in this case). You might want to literally get out of the comfort of your home and spend a night roughin’ it outdoors in a tent or complete an embarrassing public challenge or go on a scary rollercoaster, but I can promise you’ll likely grow as individuals and together and get some serious laughs in the process.
Try a new recreational sports
My cousins have always played huge, long-lasting soccer games at our family gatherings. It is so much fun and while we’re not particularly good, we all have an absolute ball (no pun intended).
So whether you want to try something at home or take a one-off class, laughing as you and your sibling attempt (or maybe even excel) at a brand new sport is always fun.
Some ideas are surfing, dance, ball games… really anything! Just work up a sweat, have some light-hearted competition and don’t get hung up at being any good.
Get dressed up
This one is more for the ladies, but is such a fun idea.
It is no secret that, as women, we love the process of getting dressed up, but doing it with someone else is even better. Get a new dress, do each other's hair and makeup, go to a fun destination. Make an event of nothing if you really have to, but do it together.
Go on a trip together
This one is more extravagant than the others, but can be an amazing experience. Spend as long as you want exploring a new place or playing tourist in your home town.
My favourite part of something like this is all the spontaneous little moments that you’ll have (probably because you don’t really know where you’re going because you're not really that great with directions…)
Go to a formation day or retreat together
Attending a retreat or formation day together is less of a group activity but still provides valuable time together, and can help you grow in your faith. It is also a fabulous way to hold each other accountable and you can discuss your thoughts and feelings afterwards.
Go to a brand new parish/cathedral together
I love going to different churches and cathedrals when travelling but it is even better when you’re with someone else. Visit a historic church and spend some time after mass meeting and talking to the people and priest there.
You might even want to take your siblings to somewhere you’ve already been and see that place for the first time again through their eyes.
Look through old photos
This one may seem less exciting but it is a wonderful way to reminisce about old times and good memories. Make each of your favourite beverages and share the stories behind the photos over morning tea or a meal.
Start your own book club
Pick a book and get reading. Try one with discussion questions or even a course and learn something and share.
Really listen to their thoughts, opinions and ideas about the novel or text and consider how each other thinks and responds to different ideas.
Volunteer or go on a mission trip together
What better way to serve the Lord and bond with a sibling than by giving up your time to help someone else.
You could volunteer at a homeless shelter or go on a week-long mission trip. But if that is a little daunting, you can start by simply volunteering your time to make a special meal to share with them or setting up a picnic to enjoy together.
Siblings are a special gift to be given. They are a treasure and can become you #1 best friend. But relationships with them sometimes don’t come easy.
Take time to spend with them. Listen to them and open your heart to love them.
Any relationship starts with a heart willing to give and serve.
If you have any other ideas to add to this list, share them in the comments below!